WARNING: this is not a woo-woo Kumbaya-holding-hands-and-singing type of a post. This is hardcore tactical stuff that works.
I also made the headings pink because you are a woman and I am “politically incorrect.” BUT, I care about you and want to help you find your soulmate.
You want a prince charming to share all your day’s stories and to snuggle with. A girlfriend just doesn’t cut it. You want a man.
Not just any man…
a prince charming…
who puts a smile on your face,
and makes you want to sing (even if he hates it), lol.
When I was writing this article, this song came to mind – I don’t know why, or what it’s all about, and I don’t even care about Beyonce:
All the single ladies…
All the single ladies…
All the single ladies
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ok. Stop singing now. Damn it, now that stupid song is stuck in your head, haha.
Let’s focus on what’s important – finding you your soulmate.
Did you know 51% of women approach dating wrong?
This is the plan most women use to find a man (I don’t blame you)…
“Keep throwing shit on the wall and something will stick”
You keep dating and hopefully one man will kind-of, sort-of, maybe fit your dream guy criteria.
You compromise, and settle.
But Mighty Singh (me), What’s wrong with this approach?
Nothing, and everything.
Everything is wrong if you don’t know what you really want. If you do, you are in the lucky 49% of the population who do it right, but you are still single. Keep reading.
The biggest issue with kissing all the wrong frogs…
is not even the fact you share your body (making out or sex).
The biggest issue is…
you open up your heart and let a stranger in. You reveal your true identity – the little girl inside – to a stranger who can easily crush you by saying “sorry, it’s not working.”
All you can really do at that point is…
key his car, and then drop gasoline on it and burn it. Or stalk him and poison his food.
I am ONLY joking, please don’t do any of that stupid stuff with the man who broke up with you. Let him go, it’s not worth wasting your time or mental energy.
I have compiled 10 steps to find your soulmate, based on talking to ladies who are happy in their relationships. No science or psychology or none of that. It’s based on insights from real ladies who love shopping, and can’t have enough shoes.
Step 1: MAKE THE LIST
Make a list of 100 things you want in a man.
Be as vague as you want – looks, character, profession, race, height etc.
It’s hard to get to 100, this step might take time. Don’t rush, we are not looking for a Louis Vuitton bag, we are looking for your soulmate.
Give it 1-2 weeks. Write as many items (each number on the list) you want, it’s OK if you go over 100.
**DO NOT skip over this step. Most women date wrong men because they have not made a list, and they are not sure what they want in a man. When you know what you want, you will not settle for less.
You make a shopping list for ingredients for your smoothie, why should “man shopping” be any different.
Do the work. It’s going to be hard, – we are CREATING your soulmate, not a Chocolate Sundae.
Step 2: CATEGORIZE
Group them under categories.
Eg. Personality, profession, family, physical traits etc
Step 3: CLEANUP
Remove redundant or duplicate items from each category. Sometimes we end up repeating same thing in different words, cut it out.
Now you will have a much smaller list, it may have even shrunk down to 30 list items (the number doesn’t really matter).
Step 4: PRIORITIZE
Prioritize, and list the most important things you want in your soulmate at the top.
Example: if Spirituality is most important put it at the top, if money is most important put it at the top, if fit body is most important put that at the top.
Remember: you are not being judged, you don’t need to show this to anybody, you can be as shallow as you want. You don’t need to be politically correct either.
Don’t lie. You can lie to me, but you can not lie to yourself.
Step 5: DESCRIBE
Describe your dream man in one or two paragraphs.
When I read this description I should know exactly what type of man you want.
Step 6: BUILD AN ABSOLUTE CRITERIA
Make a short list of things that are absolutely critical in your man.
This is what your soul mate Must-Have for you to be with him. These items are non-negotiable.
Example: If a fit body is critical, we will not give out-of-shape men a chance. If money is important, we won’t give broke men a chance.
This list of items is your Absolute Criteria.
Step 7: SELF-EVALUATE
Now you have your perfect soulmate.
Now with 100% honesty ask yourself…
“Will this man want to be with me the way I am?”
50% chances your answer is NO.
Example: if you are seeking a fit man and you love to eat junk food and hate exercise, chances are he won’t want to you. Or…
If you are seeking religious/spiritual man but yourself you love to drink and party, he may not want you.
Don’t lie. Your soul knows when you are lying . You know exactly whether he will want you or not.
Don’t panic, there’s hope.
Ask another question…
“What do I need to change so that my perfect man will want to be with me?”
Step 8: IMPLEMENT CHANGES
You need to make necessary positive changes in your life – whether you like it or not.
This is not for him, but for your own sake. This is for your True Authentic Self. (OMG I dropped the overused and abused cliché “True Authentic Self” bomb).
Remember: What you want is not just any ideal man – you want your perfect man, your prince charming, your soulmate.
These are also characteristics and traits you want in yourself, because we seek our partners who are just like us, to compliment us.
Whoever said “opposites attract” should be fed Green Chillies in water to punish him for fooling us with this phrase.
Making these changes will make you a better person with values that your soulmate also seeks. Remember you don’t want a man who will be with just any woman!
Your updated version will be irresistible for him.
Step 9: STALK HIM
Honey, you need to figure out the important stuff. Time to do what you do best – Stalking, err, I mean Investigation. Bring out the inner CIA agent and get to work.
Where does your soulmate hang out?
What type of people will your soulmate be friends with?
Which places will your soulmate avoid?
What activities will your soulmate be involved in?
You need to do those activities and be friends with the type of people your soulmate will be friends with.
Remember: people are attracted to people who are like them.
You will not find a Spiritual person in a club, you will not find a party loving person at a Church, you will not find a fit person in McDonalds… You get the point.
Step 10: ACTION TIME
Tell your close friends to look out for someone who fits this description, and to introduce you when they find one.
Warning: please be nice to your friends. Girls don’t help girls who are “bitchy” – NOT my words. This is based on research. You know that one selfish unpleasant female of a friend who is always asking for favors and doesn’t even care about you that much, especially when you need help or moral support.
When you are clear on what you want, you will start meeting people who are like you. Let them know you are single and looking (there’s no shame in asking). People love hooking people, especially when it leads to long term relationship or marriage.
NOTE: It’s OK to meet people off dating websites, social media or through family.
Now it’s time to meet people who fit your criteria. Don’t waste too much time talking over the phone, do the basic small talk over the phone and meet for a coffee date (NOT lunch, or dinner, definitely not breakfast, lol) at a place that isn’t too loud.
When you are talking to him, get to know him to see if he fits your Absolute Criteria.
When you are talking to him…
DO NOT PRETEND (be your True Authentic Self, lol). You are not trying to sell snake oil, you are connecting with your soulmate. If you pretend to be someone or something you are not, he WILL FIND OUT sooner or later, and it could end the whole thing.
It’s easier when you act like and talk like who you really are. One example is this article: it’s not written in a way most articles are written, you still value it and like me (I hope, lol). When you pretend, it’s stressful to keep covering things up. Keep things simple.
Don’t Pretend, Don’t Act, Don’t lie – even if you are not considered positive.
If he doesn’t fit your Absolute Criteria, reject him. Please don’t be rude, and no matter what you do, please don’t tell him Romi told you to reject him (I don’t wanna die, lol).
If you settle with just any man, you are asking for possible disappointment in future, and even if there is no disappointment you may be living a mediocre life.
I want you to live a happy life, and enjoy life – just like I do.
WHEN YOU FIND YOUR PRINCE CHARMING…
Give all the credit to me. Tell him Romi coached you and let me know.
Seriously, I wish you a happy life full of love with your soulmate – from the bottom of my heart. I love you, I support you, I am here for you. When you need to talk to someone, without judgement, Romi is here for you.
P.S. LAST PINK HEADLINE
If you find my advice helpful, please share it with your friends (not the mean ones, lol). OK fine. Share it with all of your single friends. Let’s help everyone find true love.