Have you lost a close loved one and still haven’t overcome your loss?
Losing someone you loved dearly completely shatters your life and sympathy from your friends and family doesn’t help. People, places and events related to the dearly departed remind you of them and fill you with pain and make you cry.
I am writing this because my friends on Facebook often ask me to write about this, because I am spiritual.
You can’t “stop missing” your loved ones after they are gone because you had powerful attachment to that person. What you can do is change their memory from painful to a happy one.
WARNING: Nobody else can change anything for you, because nobody knows you – only you know yourself and only you have the power to change things.
It will take time and things will change, I assure you. I suggest you focus on these two things listed below. You have to think about these constantly when the pain strikes you.
1. Let go of selfishness
Ask yourself this question:
“Am I selfish about my loss or do I care about the one who has gone?”
After talking to hundreds of people in grief, I have come to a conclusion that we cry because we lost something. We don’t really cry about the death of that person. This makes us selfish.
Here’s one thing you may not have thought of before:
The pain and suffering of your loved one ended with their death. They are, now, in a better place. According to spirituality, the physical world and our human life limits the capabilities of our soul. Lifetime is a chance given to a soul to elevate it’s spiritual strength. Only when we die our soul is able to realize it’s unlimited potential and do what souls do.
Based on collective wisdom of all faiths and spirituality, we can say souls are happier when they are free from limits of a physical body.
I ask you…
instead of your loss, think about their happiness because their race of life has finished and they have succeeded. Let’s celebrate their success.
2. Weakness vs Strength
Do the memories of the lost soul make you weak or strong?
The pain of our loss is so strong that it makes you cry when you think of them. You remember how they looked, you remember the love, you remember your conversations, you remember going places, you remember laughing, crying and arguments with them. Sometimes you smile. Sometimes you have non-stop tears running down your cheeks.
You become very weak and vulnerable, which makes you lose interest in everything including even food. You avoid places or people who remind us of them and people around you feel sorry for you and pity you.
When this behavior continues for long time some people start avoiding you because they have the attitude of “nobody wants to be around a crying baby.”
You also have memories that make you smile. You suddenly burst out laughing even when you are alone. You get filled with joy. You are proud of their accomplishments. You are thankful of all that they did for you. This is when their memories make you strong.
I ask you to make a decision…
Decide whether you want them to make you strong or weak. If we could ask their soul, I am sure they would want their memories to make you strong.
Think about it…
imagine their soul thinking about you. What would they say?
Let’s not disappoint their soul,
let’s set their soul free and make them part of our happiness instead of our misery.
Only you can make this decision, nobody else can think for you.
Take your time, and think about this everyday:
“Do I want their soul to be proud of me?”
“Do I want their memories make me strong and happy or weak and sad?”
If my message helps you, share it with your friends who are going through a similar struggle.